I am starting this blog post with the disclaimer that the picture above was taken at the height of my Postpartum Depression. And although outsiders may see a beautiful picture of a breastfeeding Mother, all I see when I look at this photo is the deep sadness, fatigue and disconnection to my body at this time.
I say this, as one of the side affects that came with my PPD was complete lack of libido and disconnection to my husband, until we started getting to the bottom of my diagnosis.
I wish this was normalised because it is SO common for new moms to feel a loss of libido after childbirth, but it doesn't have to be normal. Your body, mind, and heart are all adjusting to this new chapter, and intimacy can take a backseat.
You aren’t alone mama and here’s why:
1. Hormonal Shifts: After birth, estrogen and testosterone levels drop, while prolactin (needed for breastfeeding) rises, naturally suppressing desire. Your body isn’t meant to be making more babies yet as you heal and raise your newborn, and your body is telling you just this with these symptoms. Basic survival, our bodies are intelligent!
2. Exhaustion: The endless cycle of feeding, soothing, and sleepless nights leaves your body drained and your mind foggy. It’s hard to feel sexy when you’re running on empty.
3. Anxiety and Mental Load: Worrying about your baby’s needs, your new role, and juggling it all can make it hard to relax, let alone feel connected to your body. Not being able to switch your mind off due to anxiety and mental load is the number one reason that we have found that we struggle with, when ‘getting in the mood’.
4. Physical Recovery: Your body has been through so much, and healing takes time. Pain, discomfort, or fear of intimacy can naturally lower desire. Add in some birth trauma and there’s no wonder you need more time to feel sexy. We feel you mama!
5. Body Image: Postpartum changes can leave you feeling disconnected from your body and less confident. This is totally normal as you adjust into your new identity as a Mother. You are a goddess of creation though mama, you need to start remembering that!
The Path Back to Desire
• Be gentle with yourself; your body is healing and adapting.
• Carve out moments for rest and self-care to ease anxiety and fatigue.
• Communicate openly with your partner about how you’re feeling. Most of the time they have no clue what’s going on but I promise you they will want to help you feel your best. It's not just about the sex, it's about the connection. and there are other ways to connect.
• Reconnect with your body through soft movement, like stretching or a warm bath. Body oiling (if time permits) is a beautiful ritual of self love. Taking time to feel into all the extra lumps and bumps and honour the body with has created life. Our Mama Everything oil is the perfect ally here.
• Herbs like maca or shatavari can really help balance hormones, energise and support libido. You can find these particular ones in our Let It Flow Latte and new tinctures!
Remember mamas, your desire will return when the time is right. Rushing things can cause sacral chakra blockages.
You’re doing an incredible job, and your sensuality is still within you—it just needs a little love and patience. 💛
With love,
Holly